No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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