I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
