And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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