She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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