Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
