the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize