Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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