haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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