and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
