Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
