i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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