So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
