How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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