after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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