A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize