Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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