Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
