i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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