I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
