Don't you send me to vm
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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