I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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