You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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