It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
