He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
