remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
