this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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