Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
