Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Boobs speak an international language.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
