Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
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First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
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I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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