why do cheetos always look like penises
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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