bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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