She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
