I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
