his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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