Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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