I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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