found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
