We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
