Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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