You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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