just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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