there's paper in my vomit.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
