Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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