evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
