im gay
i know
yea but for you.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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