And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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