and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
