Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
