I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
