Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
