She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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