Where is the hickey?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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