You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
