so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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