oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How external is "for external use only"?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
