Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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