Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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