He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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