Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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