I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i out mim tonsoeep
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