Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
